Many people are caught in relationships full of drama and heartache. Even if the relationship has ended, you may find yourself still dealing with all the drama attached.
When a relationship has turned for the worst, you must leave it behind. You may feel stuck—too emotionally involved—but you must move on. If this is your situation, I challenge you to evaluate your part in the relationship.
Ask yourself why do you feel stuck? Why are you allowing drama into your life? There is a reality check when you begin to ask yourself questions like this. You start to see the whole picture. Maybe you’ve allowed this to continue for so long that drama is now your new normal. Has being in toxic relationships come to define who are you?
Imagine what your idea of normal was before all the drama. Before the constant arguing, he-said-she-said talk, crying and feeling mistreated and used. What was your happy-self like? What will it take for you to return back to that state? It may mean cutting people out of your life, or setting boundaries for those who, as my mom would say, continue to stir up the pot. Or, maybe you are the person with your handle on the ladle and won’t let go. Whether you’re the victim or cause of someone’s pain, once you let go, you’ll get off the drama juice, and can start to move forward.
Our emotions tend to get the best of us when we are hurt. A bad relationship can cause you to think illogically, affecting you so much that you start to act out in ways you never would have.
Jill Scott describes this emotional transition in her song “Insomia”: “Time to wake up, put on my strong face, and hope that no one will know you have managed to turn me from a woman of substance into a ‘brick flying, calling too damn much, cryin’ and cryin’…I never intended to be this chick,” the songstress sings.
I’m sure you never wanted any of the drama in your life. I’m sure you never intended to be consumed by it. But whatever it is that continues to grasp you and stay in your life, you need to let go. Pray that God will release you from the drama. Truly ask him to take away the hurt that you’ve been feeling; ask him to take away the hurt you may have caused others; ask for forgiveness to take place in your heart. Then refuse to be pulled back in.
Moving on from the drama is about taking ownership of your circumstance. Being upfront with people who want to continue to bring mess into your life. The goal is to not allow your next relationship to put you in the same unhealthy position. The worst thing you can do is leave one bad relationship and go into another. Once you are healed, once you become whole again, once your heart is no longer broken, you can move forward. And you can start to build new relationships. Don’t get stuck in the past. Move forward into your future.
You were intended to be on this earth at this time with a unique Godly-giving purpose. Continue to find that purpose and don’t allow yourself to get distracted by drama that keeps you off track.